A Country Girl's Thoughts

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

2006-06-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

I love me some quotes

2006-05-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

www.quotegarden.com

Card Making

2006-05-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

i am sooo addicted to scrapbooking that I am thinking about taking up card making too!! this is a site that has sayings on it for cards...there are some really cute ones for every occasion...
www.versalog.com

Some general questions...

2006-05-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

How do you deal with anger?
Alot of my anger I just hold in...I know it isn't good for you but that is how it has been for the past 7 years...unless you really really make me mad....it takes alot to make me actually mad..but if you ever achieve that...there is no turning back!
How easy is it for you to forgive those who have caused you pain or made you angry? Hmm...this one is hard because i know you are supposed to forgive..and i do forgive people for some things..but i remember them forever...like all the crap that me and JD have been through....i forgive...i guess....but i didn't forget!
Do you harbor resentment towards those who have done you wrong? no not really..unless it was bad...like JD or my mom
What are the types of projects you procrastinate about? important stuff...LOL....cleaning my car..i hate that!!
What thoughts come to you as you're procrastinating? what else could I be doing?
What do you do instead of the project you're avoiding? something funner..
How do you feel when something is unfinished? that is funny because if i start somthing I have to finish it....i hate it when things are left undone
How do you decide if your work is good enough? when it is perfect...i am a perfectionist
What do you do after you make a mistake? redo it
When is the last time you really tried to succeed? today...fixing up my classroom...had to have it done and done right
What's your first reaction when someone lets you down? depressed...
What's your first thought if someone hesitates before giving you their opinion about your creative project? that they don't like it or if it was JD..that he was to busy to look
How do you feel when you imagine an upcoming performance? I don't perform so i don't have to worry about that..
What's your first reaction to a blank page or canvas? what could i write or what could i scrapbook

A true friend

2006-05-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

When I need to talk
You are always ready
To listen to me
Even if you don't always agree...
You let me speak
And say my part
And you listen
With your whole heart.
You listen intently
And don't speak until
You see I am silent
And then you will.
You offer advice
That is honest and good
And don't agree with me
Just because I wish you would.
Whether I need someone
To scrub the floor, unclog my sink,
Or just sit with me for awhile
So that I can think...
You are the first one
That I know I can trust
If I hate to ask...
But I know that I must...
You are the one I turn to
When times are really tough
And casual acquaintances
Are not enough...
You have met the test
Of a friend that is tried and true
And when I count my blessings
At the top of my list is YOU!

My Friend

2006-05-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have a friend that is so wonderful
To love me when I'm unloveable
Who always hugs me close
When to others I'm unhuggable!
I have a friend who cheers me on
When no one else around me cares
A friend who prays for me
And all my joys and sorrows shares
I have a friend who makes my joys mulitply
And all my sadness she divides
I have a special friend who adds so much to my life
By being always close by my side.
In case you don't recognize the description
Perhaps I should make it a bit clearer,
You are such a wonderful friend to me
And no one could be dearer.

Highway 109

2006-04-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the air.
"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
"She struggled to get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
"On where the back seat once had been,"
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
"She did not hear them cry, "
"And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "
Then firemen came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back, "
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
"And was traveling alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
"In beseeching supplication, "
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
"Their jeans are blue to match.""
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car, "
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
"And gave them each a cone, "
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
"I've searched the area high and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene, "
"I guess, and that is very bad."
"The mother hugged the twins and said, "
"While wiping at a tear, "
"He could not flee the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."
"The cop just looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came "
"And left a kiss for you."" "
He told us not to worry
"And that you would be all right, "
And then he put us in this car with
"The pretty, flashing light. "
"We wanted him to stay with us, "
"Because we miss him so, "
"But Mommy, he just hugged us tight "
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
"And told us not to fuss, "
"And he said to tell you, Mommy, "
"He's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
"That what they spoke was true, "
"For she recalled their dad's last words, "
" I will watch over you."
The firemen's notes could not explain
"The twisted, mangled car, "
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
"But on the cop's report was scribed, "
"In print so very fine, "
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

The Hair Cut

2006-04-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit. He was very anxious to discuss the use of the car with his mother. His mother said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, and we'll talk about the car." Well, the boy thought about that for a moment, and decided that he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks they went into the study, where his mother said, "Son, I've been real proud. You've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, and participating a lot more in the Bible study groups. But, I'm real disappointed that you haven't gotten your hair cut." The young man paused a moment and then said, "You know, Mom, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had lon g hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair, too." His mother replied, "Well, how observant of you. So did you notice that they also walked everywhere they went?"

Touched me....

2006-04-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
~e.e. cummings, 1955

A Newborn's Conversation with God

2006-04-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

A Newborn's Conversation with God

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak." "

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life." "But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, "You will simply call her, "Mom."

A general survey....

2006-04-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

1. whats your name spelt backwards? ikkin
2. What did you do last night? tried to watch a movie but fell asleep
3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? hmm...probably a picture from my email...i don't guess i download much
4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? 9 volt..i don't think so...a little battery..yeah
5. Type of music you dislike most? heavy metal
6. Are you registered to vote? yea
7. Do you have cable? yes
8. Ever made a prank phone call? yes
9. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? you have got to be kidding me...I like me...there is no way that i would do that
10. Furthest place you ever traveled? Florida
11. What's your favorite comic strip? wow...umm...Blondie
12. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Just Like Heaven
13. Favorite pizza toppings? sausage
14. Chips or popcorn? chips
15. favorite chocolate bar? well i like Reese's but that really isn't a chocolate bar...i would say a Snickers
16. Sprite or 7-UP? 7-up
17. favorite cereal? Oh man I love cereal...Cinnanmon toast crunch, Apple Jacks, Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes...i could go on and on
18. favorite ice-cream? Chocoalate Chip Cookie Dough, Bunny Tracks
19. ever done something really stupid? oh yeah...i am excited if a day goes by that i haven't done something really stupid
20. words you use a lot? goodness, i know it, whatever, you gotta be kiddin'
21. do you like to dance!? yes
22. but can you dance? I would like to think so...none of the guys have complained...LOL
23. what are you fears? snakes, losing people/pets I love, getting heartbroken
24. weaknesses? being mean, my figure
25. do you like fruit or veggies? yeah most of them...i can get picky sometimes though
26. is this keeping you entertained? yep.
27. would you say you are happy? yeah...i could be happier...but i am ok
28. favorite meal? either steak....or tacos

LIFETIME ?'s

2006-04-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

I am a ? machine.....

This is all about books......

1) What's your favorite book? author? genre?
So far I think my fav book would be Amber Frey's "The Witness"...only because I was so into everything that happened with the Scott Peterson case...and the book was from her point of view..I liked it!! I would have to say though that my fav author would be John Grisham..I just like the way he writes! Hmm... genre...probably...mystery...some documentary...just depends
2) Do you ever miss characters from a story you read?
yeah sometimes..
3) How do you pick what book to read next?
I just look and read the inlays and decide on what seems interesting
4) Have you read any of the book club selections in the reading forum here?
no..I would like to join a book club...
5) Do you read all the books of an author you like?
i would have to say no...because John Grisham has ALOT of books out and honestly I don't have that much time!!
6) Do you judge books by their cover?
well.....yeah.....only sometimes!!!

Answering some questions...

2006-04-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

Isn't it sad that I feel like my life is so boring that I feel guilty sometimes about writing in my blog..because I don't want to bore you people!!! LOL!! Horrible :(
Anyway...on the other hand..I just like to keep myself occupied....so i am gonna answer a few of those LONG questions i just posted...

Have you ever experienced bottling up your anger or pain?
Girl...I have had my emotions bottled since 1999 with JD...if we ever fought or anything...what he said goes..no matter what..because if you said something other than him...especially when he was mad...it was gonna be a fight and a good one!! When we fought..he would scream and yell and I would normally just sit there and let him get it all out and then try to calm him down...what sucked was sometimes he would get mad at someone else...then take it out on me...yeah...that sucked!! So I never really stood up against him...I don't think we ever had an argument...wait..I CAN think of one time we fought about something and he apologized for it without me asking him to...shocked the crap out of me!! The majority of the time...I never won..eventhough he said I usually did..I never felt like I did. OK..enough of him...
I kept my emotions bottled up when mom and dad were going through there divorce...until one day my mom made me so mad that I just snapped...and honestly I can't really tell ya what happened there because i was soo mad i don't remember!!
And now..I keep my emotions bottled up because to tell the truth...not being with JD sucks!!! It breaks my heart....everyday....every day that i think about him...every moment he runs through my mind...every story i want to tell that has him in it...kills me!! It hurts...alot!! But i gotta deal with it...and I believe that I am doing OK...He has Lauren now...maybe she will bow down to him like i did...if she does..then it will work! I don't know..I hate thinking about it......next question>>>

What happened when you couldn't contain anger or pain anymore?
well like i have already said..I don't remember what happened with mom...I know we fought..but i can't give you details...I snapped...i held in so much for too long..and i couldn't do it anymore...
With holding in my pain...about JD...it sucks...but i think i do a good job of it...around him and his friends anyway...

What bugs you?
Hmmm...stupid people...first of all..people old enough to know better but are still just stupid..can't stand that!!
People wating to last minute to do everything...always rushing...I am like that sometimes...but i hate doing that all the time
I can't stand to sleep when i am hot...it has to be chilly when i go to bed...that bugs me.
I think the thing that bugs me the most..is just the way people talk...if I can't stand the way you talk then there is no way i could be around you...

Journaling Prompts.......((really really long))

2006-04-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

I love stuff like this.....I like to write...I am just not very good at it!!! This was on a website I visit often (like at least twice a day) and had to put it on here...I plan on answering them all...(that is a goal anyway)..but there is quite a bit so we will see how it goes!!

Have you ever experienced bottling up your anger or pain? What happened when you couldn't contain anger or pain anymore? What bugs you? How do you deal with anger? How easy is it for you to forgive those who have caused you pain or made you angry? Do you harbor resentment towards those who have done you wrong? What are the types of projects you procrastinate about? What thoughts come to you as you're procrastinating? What do you do instead of the project you're avoiding? How do you feel when something is unfinished? How do you decide if your work is good enough? What do you do after you make a mistake? When is the last time you really tried to succeed? What's your first reaction when someone lets you down? What's your first thought if someone hesitates before giving you their opinion about your creative project? How do you feel when you imagine an upcoming performance? What's your first reaction to a blank page or canvas? What do you have to do for much needed silence? How do you express your love? To yourself? To other people? How do you appreciate yourself? What is your tolerance level towards someone you love or value whose opinions, values and/or personality differ from yours? Name everything you've done that you're proud of (things you've been able to attain that bring you happiness): Places you've visited that you've enjoyed People you've met that you gained the most from Character traits you think others admire in you. Character traits you admire in yourself Things you've done you never thought you could do: What's your favorite color? What color car do you drive? What kind of car is it? In your house what are the predominant colors? What's your favorite outfit and color? Color of eyes, hair, skin? What color is your nail polish and make-up? What color accessories do you prefer? (purses, jewelry, etc.) What color are most of your clothes and jackets? What color is your birthstone? Right now, what is on your mind? Your 10 greatest joys When you're on top of the world... Nobody knows that you... What age were you most inspired? If you had to evacuate your home because of a natural disaster, which of your possessions would you bring with? Five places you would like to visit are: If you could pass on a piece of advice that meant a lot to you when you received it, what would it be? Name any life changing books you've read. 10 of my very best ideas: There was a time when you almost gave up on something. Write about that experience. What would be the perfect autumn day? Do you have reoccurring dreams? What are they about? A world event that is causing you distress is... You are going to make tomorrow different by... Do you like progress? If you could choose a different time period to live in, when would it be? If you were a flower, you'd be a... Why do you think you were born into this world? Who do you miss the most from your past? 10 types of food or dishes you've never eaten that you'd like to try Would you work for someone who stresses you out even if the money was good? Who inspires you? In the next year you plan to... What keeps you going? What's the most important thing to you? What are you pessimistic about? What was your first car? How do you feel when you are by yourself? You look up to ______________ because... Did you have a bicycle? What was it like? Work through a painful memory. Describe it. Feel it. And see if you can let it go. One thing you want to change about yourself is... Are you sad? Why? Write a letter to someone you need to forgive.. Are you depressed? Why? How do you treat the people that irritate you? What is the nicest thing you have done for someone? 10 of your absolute worst pet peeves If you had one week to live, you'd... What needs cleaning in your house? If the phone were to ring right now, who would you want it to be? What do you think happens when we die? Everything happens for a reason, right? Write about a question that looms large in your mind right now. Your first pet was a _____________. Write about it. Do you have regrets? My top favorite songs right now are... Make a list of five ways you've changed in the last five years. What changes do you wish to make in the next five years? Friday makes me... Happiness is... Which countries you would love to visit? What things do you expect in a good friend? Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you're going to... If you disappeared today, who would be affected? You are 20 years in the future. Write a letter to your today self. Places I have lived, in order What are some unfinished projects hanging over my head? Your dream job would be... One thing you want to accomplish TODAY is... Who is one person who changed your life? What is your legacy? What would you do if the sun didn't rise tomorrow? What are some relationships have had the greatest impact on your life? Right now you should be doing ______________ instead of ________ Write about an old resentment or unhealed hurt. You forgive _______________ because... If you had to donate one million dollars to any charity, which one would it be and why? What have you accomplished in the last five years? Do you think nobody understands you? Joy is... If you could have three wishes, what would they be? Do you believe in love at first sight? You need other people because... Famous people make me... You're truly afraid of... What did you do before we had the Internet? Injustice in the world makes you feel... Isn't this moment the most important thing? What did you accomplish last year? What superpower would you choose to have? Did you go to college or have vocational training? Where and when? Are you happy with who you are? What do you feel right now? You feel ___ years old inside because... Name three reasons why you should get out of bed tomorrow... What is changing in your life right now? Write about your favorite pet. List 10 things you want to accomplish before it's too late. What was you favorite vacation or trip ever? How important is rest and relaxation to you? If I were going to be stranded on a desert island, what 10 items would you want in your pockets? The perfect personality is... What are your 10 deepest sorrows? Who do you envy and why? What are the values you cherish even though they run counter to societal values? Describe the perfect winter day. Tell about an activity you would do on that day. You meet a homeless person on the street. Do you give them money? Why? Describe the most serious illness or accident that you have had. A time you want to experience again... What five relationships have had the greatest impact on your life? What would have happened if you didn't leave the house this morning? What do you sense you're supposed to do before your life is over?. If you were to publish a book about yourself, what would you title it? Could you live without that one special person in your life? 10 unforgettable moments in your life 10 things you really like about yourself You're going to make tomorrow different by... What is your earliest memory? Why has it stayed with you? How did you meet your closest friend? Do you get upset when people don't do what you tell them to? Why? You'll never do _______ again because... Do you do anything to help the needy? The book you're reading right now is teaching you... List the jobs you've had during your life. Crowds make you feel... When you're over-stressed, you... Words that hurt you... Something comfortable is... Do you believe that what other people think is any of your business? Are you pleased with what you look like? If you could change any part of yourself what would it be? Are you afraid of death? Name five things in your refrigerator. If money didn't matter, what job or career would you go for? Is writing a form of self therapy? When you're around too much negativity, you... 10 things you think are crucial for you to be happy What is the most frustrating part of who you are? What is the best thing about being you? Use five adjectives to describe yourself, expand on each one. Do you lie to yourself? Do you excuse behaviors you know are wrong? What do you really, deeply want from life? What are you doing today to get you what you want? What is the last thing you did just to make yourself happy? Have you ever felt bliss? What was that moment (or the last time you felt it) like? Describe a perfect spring day and activities on that day. How do you feel about winning? Losing? What is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you? The worst? What can frighten you the most and why? What is the most exciting place that you have ever been to and why? Tell how, when, where you learned to drive and any memorable experiences. What are your most deeply held values? Who do you miss the most from your past? What sound is most comforting to you? What sound describes you? You love the sound of. What's your favorite smell? What do you associate with your favorite smell? Five books that changed your life. What are your favorite sounds? You forced to give up one of your senses. Which one will it be? What was the last CD you bought? 10 types of food or dishes you've never eaten that you'd like to try: What are your food preferences and how did they come about? What don't you accept about yourself? What don't you accept from others? What is your personal secret of happiness? What is the most important lesson, message, or advice that you have learned? What personality trait do you admire and why? Tell about your civic or political activities. What are your favorite movies and why? If you could be an animal, which one would you choose and why? What do you think brings good or bad luck? Tell about all the places you have worked. What are your simple pleasures? What is your most valued possession? What rules have you broken? When's the last time you laughed at yourself? When's the last time you made a new friend? What are Sundays like for you? What secrets do you have? People see you as.... You feel at peace when.... The best gifts you were ever given... What monopoly figure do you usually use? What do you love about your job? Hate? What is your job now? What bores you? You like being female/male because.... Do you live a high-tech or low-tech lifestyle? Do you visit your local library? Do you remember to have books back on time? How often do you read? What assumptions would a stranger make about you based on the books you read or have read? What are your favorite topics? What are the last 10 books you've read? If you could write a book, what would it be about? People are surprised to learn that you... Words you hate; words you love. What books or movies have changed your life? Celebrities you're sick of: The first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning was... Do you like taking naps? What kinds of things are you working on right now? Foods you never get tired of eating: Your favorite snacks: What do you like on your pizza? What are your comfort foods? What are your favorite desserts? What fruit is your favorite? Least favorite? You never get sick of: How do you know when you can trust someone? What does someone have to do for you to call them your friend? What do you love to buy? Hate to buy? What's the worst thing you've ever done with your hair? What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done with your hair? Do you like your hair now? What's the style, color, etc.? What are the best compliments you've ever received? What music do you listen to the most? What are your most embarrassing moments? What gives you the creeps? What do you collect? How did you choose your pets' names? What brands of toiletries do you HAVE to have? What is your hair care routine? How about your routine in the morning when you get ready? What should you change about yourself? What has been the most touching image you've seen recently? What are you truly passionate about? What is your big dream currently? What makes you excited? What do you need to feel successful? What do you do in your spare time? What would you like to be an expert in? What do you do that you lose track of time while doing? If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Who are your favorite actors? What are some events that have happened in your life that you wish you could relive or erase? What are some places you'd like to visit? List all the things you're grateful for: What's the worst advice you've ever been given? Do you own an object of sentimental value? What is your idea of a perfect day? In what way(s) do you indulge yourself? What are some fragments from your past that have stayed with you even though they might seem insignificant? Are you the type that "collects" things or do you live sparsely? Are you a night owl or a morning person? What makes laugh? What are some adjectives that describe you? What is your biggest vice? What would you consider your best characteristic? Do you have a nickname? Do you like being called that? If your house were on fire, what material possessions would you grab? What have you lied about? I wish I were more... I wish I were less... What color represents you? Why? What is the most beautiful thing to you in nature? Describe all the houses you've lived in: What is more important to you? Photographs, scrapbooks or journals? What sound do you associate with each of the seasons? When do you know when each season is "here"? What is the best gift you've ever been given? List all the vacations you've taken: If you could live one day without consequences, what would you do? What is your favorite season? Who was your first real boyfriend/girlfriend? What strengths have you developed over your life? What do you show to let others know you love them? Describe a time when you felt rejected. Do you believe in a higher power? Describe what you believe. What experiences have you had that you can attribute to a higher power? What's troubling you right now? Describe the first time you remember saying I love you to someone outside of your family. I will never forgive __________________________ for _______________________. Describe what is going on around you right now in detail. What in your life do you doubt? What has inspired you to hold on when all looked lost? What memory do you treasure most? Do you go out to eat or to the movies alone? Why or why not? If you saw someone commit a crime, what would you do? What has it taken to allow you to be who you are today? Write a letter to yourself as a child. What are some of the things you would not share with anyone, no mater what? I would want ____________________ to play me in the movie about my life because ____________________________________________. What beliefs, values and principles guide you? In what small way have you been loving today? If you had the courage to speak your mind you would say: What makes you you? What rituals do you have? What stops you from being creative? Who helped you learn to love? Talk about a time when you hated someone or something. What are your thoughts on suicide? How long can you go without a bath or brushing your teeth? What are your ideas about cleanliness? What do you wear to bed? What led you to chose that? What has it taken to allow you to possess what you have today? Write to yourself as an older person. You would call your autobiography ____________________________ because: Today what you like about your life is: What do you really enjoy doing? Do you take in positive experiences or compliments? What is unconditional love to you? What place do you really love? Who would you really like to get to know? What are the rewards for being creative? What has sustained you through the hard times? What songs do you sing in the shower? Could you be brutally honest with friends and family? What makes you look sexy? Do you like to sleep? What is your ideally peaceful place? What are you thankful for? Around other people you are: When have you been the most scared? Under what conditions would you kill? What would you like to dream about? What if you were more attractive or uglier? How would you be different? In what ways are you still effected by childhood problems? What have you lost during your life? What are all the important days in your life? Tell about a work experience. What word describes what you're searching for? In the silence you find: What is something dumb you've done? What is your favorite fantasy? What have you done to make it happen? Under what conditions would you steal? What do you think about capital punishment? If you could find out the truth about one thing, what would it be? How would you describe your self-worth? You are grateful for your body today because: You know you'll be ready to die when: Do you believe in ghosts, angels or spirits? What has been your most frightening dream? Could you give your life for someone? Under what conditions would you get a divorce? Under what conditions would you stay in a marriage if you weren't happy? How would you cope if you lost everything you own? You can tell you're joking around when you.... What were the feelings about the death of someone you knew? If you could read someone by their signature, what would yours say? What has made you feel the weakest in your life? Has anything you've tried to change remained the same? What's a favorite story you have about yourself? What makes you laugh? If you were to die in a year and were able to make amends to all you needed to, who would you make amends to? Describe your favorite dream: What is your worst habit? What was the last compliment your received? What kinds of things aren't you good at? What good thing have you done today? What was your first job and how much did you make? You want to be remembered for: What makes you feel guilty? What makes you feel the most secure? Under what conditions would you approve of abortion? Are you trustworthy? Where do you go to find inspiration? Describe it. What is one thing you're facing now that you think you can't do? What are your special abilities? Are you using them and how? Or, are you allowing them to lie dormant until you have time and why? What little things have happened to you lately that have really touched you or made a huge difference in your day? What do you/can you do to make a difference in others' days? NEW YEAR Make a list of all the things you MUST do each week (kids, job, house, etc.). How much time can you realistically dedicate to your creative work each week? Can you think of a way to create a portable creative lab so that you might write, sketch, or do other creative work during stolen moments (like waiting at a doctor's office, or waiting to pick up the kids after school . . .)? List one thing you'd like to accomplish in 2006, and then list ten things you will need to do to accomplish it (think small; make a phone call, look up a phone number or web site, etc.). List everything you accomplished in 2006 that makes you proud (not just creatively - list everything.) Make a list of people you want to keep in your life in 2006 - people who help you feel good about yourself. What makes you a good friend? In what ways could you improve? List one way that you plan to learn something in 2006. What bad habits will you try to leave behind in the new year? What good habits do you have that you'd like to continue? What new good habits would you like to adopt? If you could predict the next year, what do you think would happen? CHILDREN Tell something about each of your children, their personalities, their talents, traits, that make them different and special. Tell about your life as the children left home - new interests, what did you do with the extra time -- new employment, moves, hobbies, etc. Do you have any grandchildren? If so, how many? How did you feel about being a grandparent? What is your child-rearing philosophy? Tell about each of your children's names, birth date, location, doctors, circumstances surrounding the birth - raising them in the home -problems, joys etc. Tell about a favorite trip or vacation. Describe getting a Christmas tree, when did you put it up and decorate it? Write about your family's Christmas traditions. YOUR CHILDHOOD Tell about the houses you lived in childhood - addresses, phone #'s, etc... How did your mother spend her time? Where you responsible for any household chores? What were they? Which did you enjoy most/least? Describe a typical day during your Jr. High years. What kind of extracurricular activities did you participate in at school? Write about some places you went to with your father. Write about some places that you went to with your mother. Describe a childhood Christmas. Did it snow much when you were a child - tell something about it, what did you do? Did you ever celebrate a your birthday in an extra special way? Tell how you celebrated them. Tell about your own family traditions: Christmas, birthdays, graduation, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Mother's or Father's Day, weddings, funerals, hunting etc. Whose was the first funeral you ever went to? How old were you and how did it effect you? Did you and your father share any interests together - what and why? What were your Christmases like as a child? What was a typical day in elementary school like? What did you do when you were a child that got you in the most trouble and how did your parents handle it? Do you remember your first crush? Tell about it. Did you attend church (Sunday School, CCD, Confirmation)? How did you feel about school? Do you remember any of your great-grandparents? What were their names? Write about any memories that you have. Tell about your mother: personality, characteristics, stature, coloring, talents, temperament, family stories about her, her role in your home, etc.. What is the most important lesson, message, or advice that you have learned that you might pass on to others? Thinking back was there a teacher who had a great influence on you? Do you wish you had more sisters or brothers, and why? Did you have a favorite aunt or uncle? What types of games did you play as a child? Where did your grandparents live? What was their home like? Did it have a certain smell or look? What was your relationship with your grandparents like? Did you ride a bicycle? What kind was it? Tell how, when, and where you learned to drive and any memorable experiences. How did you like being the oldest, youngest or middle child? What were the advantages or disadvantages? Were you ever in any school clubs (speech, drama, etc.)? How did your father spend his time supporting his family? Do you have any handed down talents? Are there any recipes you make that have been handed down? What were the favorite places to go with your family when you were young? Tell about any ancestors that you know about - name, dates, etc. for historical purposes and any stories about them. What vacations did your family take? What is your mother's best trait? Worst? What traits do you share with her? What is your father's best trait? Worst? What traits do you share with him? Describe a favorite childhood friend and something you did with her or him. Where did you live as a child - town, country, suburb, etc.? Describe your yard as a child - did you help with the yard work? Did your family have reunions? What was your teenage social life like? Tell about your friends, dances, dating, outings, church functions etc. What were your favorite Halloween costumes? Did you have a favorite subject in school? One you dreaded? What was your favorite grade in school and why? Did you have a childhood hide-out? Where? Describe it. Describe a place you remember from your childhood. Did you have a favorite pet as a child? Did it have a name? What memories are connected to it? Did you belong to Boy/Girl scouts, Camp Fire Girls or 4-H? MARRIAGE Describe a favorite vacation of your married years. Describe your wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, suit etc., if male. Write a description of your husband or wife. Describe your last home as a young couple. Tell about anniversaries, celebrations, trips, gifts. What were your fears, expectations, anticipation's about getting married? Tell about a special date you had with a boy/girl friend or your fiancÃ©e. Tell a dating story. How did you become engaged? Describe your wedding day.

Personality Test that works!!!

2006-04-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

My friend found this on the internet and said it worked for her...so I tried it and it worked for me...then we made a couple more of our friends try it and it worked for them too!!!

Your Existing Situation
Works well in cooperation with others. ((true...i have always got along with everyone i meet)) Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord. ((no kidding...i think i have had enough discord from JD))
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are. ((breaking up a 7 year relationship isn't easy but you have to deal with what life gives you so yeah...i make the best of it))Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.((i am not sure about that but if that is what the test says...then..)) Sensitive and sentimental, but conceals this from all except those very close to her.((wow..isn't that the truth...I try to be tough.. but some things you just can't be tough about..and only my true friends have seen me at those times))

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. ((true)) This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted.((ha ha..ask Gregg about this one..he knows how this works first hand..I want to like him but my head tells me that i can't let myself because that is just putting myself out there to get hurt again)) This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation. ((I am just determined not to get my heart broken again...i don't have much left))

Your Desired Objective
Needs a change in her circumstances or in her relationships which will permit relief from stress. (( yeah doesn't everyone))Seeking a solution which will open up new and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled. ((new and better possibilities...new and better man))

Your Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation,((could be where i am working or about Gregg)) and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth.

5 things about me

2006-04-16T19:46:00.007-07:00

5 things:

in my fridge
1. Dr. Pepper
2. Ranch dressing
3. Turkey lunch meat
4. Cheesecake
5. Burritos

in my closet
1. My Favorite holy jeans
2. My other jeans
3. T-shirts
4. Nike Shox
5. Old Navy flip flops

in my purse
1. cell phone
2. wallet
3. change
4. reciepts
5. chapstick

in my car
1. sunglasses
2. change
3. papers for school
4. clothes
5. CD's

on my TiVo (assuming i had TiVo)
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Lost
3. American Idol
4. Dancing with the stars
5. Beauty and the Geek

LIFETIME ?'s

2006-04-16T19:46:00.006-07:00

Today's topic is sports & exercise.

1) Do you exercise regularly?
NO..I NEED TO THOUGH..I HAVE EVERY INTENTION TO BUT IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN
2) Do you participate on a team or organized sport?
YEAH..SOFTBALL AND THEN EVERY SUNDAY ALL OF MY FRIENDS GET TOGETHER TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL
3) Are you sport fan?
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SO..I AM NOT AN AVID WATCHER LIKE MEN BUT I DON'T MIND WATCHING SPORTS
4) Is there a sport you would like to try?
NOT A PARTICULAR ONE...I WOULD TRY ANYTHING....
5) Have you ever competed for a big championship?
IN SOFTBALL I HAVE...NOT MUCH ELSE...SOFTBALL IS MY SPORT!!!

LIFETIME ?'s

2006-04-16T19:46:00.005-07:00

Questions fom Lifetime Moments....

2006-04-16T19:46:00.003-07:00

Today's topic is Movies

1) Do you mostly see movies in theaters, on cable/TV or dvd? I mostly rent movies...that is a good night for me..just staying in with a movie and junk food...love it!!
2) Do you have a favorite genre (horror, comedy, drama, historical)? I like comedy, drama, and some documentaries...I like horror but they scare the crap out of me....I am a complete baby when it comes to that stuff!! I am the type of girl that guys love to go to the movies with because I am soo not tough at scary movies!!!
3) Name some of your favorite movies. There are so many....My absolute favorite movie is "The Notebook"...I like National Treasure, Red Eye, Flight Plan, Failure to Launch, Exorcism of Emily Rose, Just Like Heaven....I could go on and on...
4) Are there any movies you watch more then once? I have seen the Notebook hundreds of time...and there is Dirty Dancing, Wizard of Oz, alot!!!
5) Are there any movies out that you are anxious to see now? Ice Age 2, I don't really know which ones are out right now!!

Challenge...

2006-04-16T19:46:00.002-07:00

Challenge:
list 5-10 websites on your Blog... websites that you like to visit, frequent often... let's all learn about some cool websites from each other!

Websites can be sb-related or not.. anything!

1. www.just4keeps.com -- good scrapbooking website...I like it...it has a lot of cute challenges and nice people!
2. www.ebbcreations.com -- Love, Love, Love thier Bingo games....
3. www.lifetimemoments.com -- also a good site with challenges and great people
4. www.twopeasinabucket.com -- we all know 2Peas
5. www.petoftheday.com -- all about pets..all kinds of pets..i have a dog so that is the part i look at it...my chihuahua Daisy Jo is like my child..and this site will let you know everything you need to know about every kind of pet you can think of!

Slogan Generator

2006-04-16T19:46:00.001-07:00

The advertising slogan generator......
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

Beware of expensive NIKKI
The incredible, edible, NIKKI
Get in my NIKKI

CUTE!!!

Man O Man!!!

2006-04-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

First I am gonna do the 2Peas challenge by burberry girl....

What's your dream vacation? Let's blog about it.

My dream vacation right now would be a scrapping weekend with unlimited supplies and someone to help me!! I would love that since my ex won't give me my stuff back....he must have took up scrapping!!! LOL Other than that I would love to go to the mountains...like the Rockies and just look...I don't want to climb or any of that...just look...or wait..I would like to go on a trip around the world and see all the cool stuff...just everything!! That would be nice!

This has been a crazy weekend....
Talked to JD's girlfriend again....he told her to tell me that he threw away my clothes (which doesn't bother me..i would rather just buy new ones and get away from him) and that he is giving my scrapbooking stuff to his mom and sister because they scrap too...which i have never seen...they never scrapbooked the whole 7 years I was around!! Anyway...like i said..stuff like my paper trimmer and scissors and paper and things...they are more than welcome to have...I would rather just buy new stuff and not talk to him ever again...but i would like to have the pages that I have already done and pictures that I have...I woudl like to get my scrapbooking suitcase back but who knows?
I also told him I would like to have the feetprints of our little girl that we had that didnt make it and he said he was gonna keep them because i had the clay mold of her feet...which this could be a VERY long story but to make it short...he had an ultrasound pic of her on his dresser and I garuntee you if you ask him where it is at today...he couldn't tell you!! I wouldnt' mind him having it...but i dont' want it lost!!!

Then on top of that me and Gregg got into a little bit...not bad...it actually made us better...crazy HUH? I got mad and I am soo used to being with JD that I just sulk up and not say anything because if i do...the fight is on!! Well he kept asking and kept asking and i finally said what was bothering me and he told me he was "sorry"...WOW!!! I didn't know what to say!! LOL
The next night Gregg said something about Daisy that made me mad because Daisy (my chihuahua) is like my daughter so I was just gonna take her and go home because we were all at my friend's house and Gregg followed me out to my car while i put Daisy in the car and I went back in to get my purse and he stayed out there at the car...When i got back out there he told me that he wanted us to stay and he didn't mean what he said..which i can't even remember what it was...but it was cute because he packed up Daisy's stuff and picked me and Daisy up and threw us over his shoulder and carried us back in the house...That was sweet to me because it showed me that he wanted us to stay...if that was JD he would have said "see ya later"...
I haven't felt good all weekend...my sinuses have been going crazy!!!! I feel like i could just roll over and die...Goodness!!!
I obviously haven't scrapped much...because JD has taken up scrapbooking...LOL...that cracks me up!!!
I absolutely love my job...I am a preschool teacher...and I couldn't imagine doing anything else!!! I love all the kids and they are soo much fun...they can be stressful at times..but all in all it is fun...
I found out that JD's girlfriend is moving down to Florida with him...I honestly feel sorry for her..because she really doesn't know what she is getting herself into..and she is so young and has so many dreams that he is just gonna crush!!! I wish she would listen to me but that wont' happen so I am just gonna sit back and watch! When he was telling her that she was moving down there...he was calling me and telling me that they weren't gonna work out..and the only reason he was with her was because he couldn't be with me...that is sad!! I know how easy he is to love...he is tall, dark, and handsome...every girl's dream...but there is so much more to him than she will ever know...and i guess will eventually find out!!! GOOD LUCK TO HER!!! from the bottom of my heart!!!
Let's see what else did i do....
I talked my friend Tammy into buying a puppy (a toy poodle) and now I am stuck watching it...which doesnt bother me...because they are fixing to move into a new apartment...I think she is gonna name him NIKE..he is cute..I will get pics up soon!!
Daisy finally went into heat...and let me tell you...she is a BUTTHEAD!! O MY GOODNESS! I am soo getting her fixed because she about drove me nuts the other day...I brought her over to Trish's to play with the new puppy because she is usually really good with other dogs and kids but not while she is in heat...she was mean!!!!
Looking forward to National Scrapbooking Day.......MAY 6th............
wish i had my stuff.......JD..............

anyway...my hands are hurting...so I am gonna go for now and look at more stuff that i wish i had!!!

What a Day!!!

2006-04-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to start!!
On my lunch break I called JD to see when he was gonna be back in Arkansas so maybe he could bring my scrapping stuff and the rest of my clothes....so that way we have nothing left to talk to each other about....and so I could get back to scrapping!! Well when I called his girlfriend Lauren answered the phone..(I wonder if he thinks that it bothers me..cause it doesn't) and I asked her if she could ask him because he said he did't want to talk to me...I must have Kooties!...anyway he said that he sent my SB stuff to his mom's and threw away my clothes. My clothes didn't bother me because I would be more than happy to let those go just to get rid of him...but my scrapping stuff had a lot pictures and pages I had done...I would like to have that back!! When we were getting off the phone I asked Lauren to ask him what his deal was and why he was so mad at me all of a sudden and she said maybe because I keep calling him...I haven't called him or messaged him in at least a week...I called the day before yesterday to ask about my things and he didn't answer but before that...haven't bothered him!!! I am sure he tells her some stories...but anyway I am not worried about that. When I said something about him giving me the speech about wanting to be friend..he grabbed the phone and hung up...HMMM!!!
So I called his mom..and you know what...i am not even gonna waste my energy typing what happened...point is...JD's family has known me for 7 years and have obviously no knowledge on how to judge people's character because somehow they think that I stole some of JD's precious money...and I would never steal anything more or less steal something from someone i loved! I guess they think I stole it because when he sent me money to pay for my insurance after he made me quit my job and leave my family two times and then sent me home with no job and no money I used the money that was supposed to be for insurance for personal taxes...and I guess I should have called him and told him...MY Mistake!!! Then she said something about me lying...that was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time...because it all goes back to the robin thing....that is the only thing I lied about to JD! And it would take me years to come up with all the lies he has told me in the past 7 years!! But remember I am the bad one!!!
The thing that makes me mad is just the fact that they would think that i am that kind of person to steal something...because I'm not!! And everyone knows that besides Jd and his family and I would have thought that they would be the first ones to stick up for me if I was ever accused of stealing anything because they know me better than most people! But I have to remember that JD is "her little boy" and no one is gonna go against what JD says!!
I hope all this makes sense because it gives me a headache talking about because it ticks me off!!
But the good thing though is I needed him to be a retard like this because that just gave me the incentive to hate him and never talk to him again! Better for me...
I know one of these days he is gonna look back and realize how dumb this all is and try to call me or something and I hate to tell him that it is gonna be to late...If he calls today...it is already to late...so if by chance he found my blog and is reading this....read that last paragraph again and let it sink in....To Late! I am through...this will NEVER happen again!!

Bloglifting.....

2006-04-11T02:15:00.001-07:00

Blog-lifting....I scraplift...so what the heck...
I absolutely love Dawn's blog...she has the cutest stuff on there...I am so envious!!
I seen this on her blog and thought it would be cute to do and look back on later....

Where oh where did I put my...cell phone

I'd rather be...sleeping

My hair...needs to be colored and cut

This week has been....ok so far..but it is monday

I'm such a slacker, I really need to...clean my car

Just for me, next week I'm going to ... go to sleep earlier

Oh boy! This weekend should be...WILD AND CRAZY!!!!!

*************************************************************************************

1. What is the most fun thing you can remember from being a kid? I think it would be playing freeze tag or school with my cousins
2. What is your idea of fun? A trip to the mall? A movie? A day at the spa? O man to pick from those three would definatly be a day at the spa....I would pass out if I had a day at the spa
3. What is the most fun part of your daily routine? blow drying my hair because Daisy thinks i have to blow dry hers to
4. What is the least fun part of it? getting up to do it all...LOL

That is all for now............LOVE THEM!!!!

Challenge...

2006-04-11T02:15:00.000-07:00

Challenge:
I type a word.. you type the first thing that comes to your mind... this should be fun... ready? here we go...

1. Harry.... Potter
2. Black.... Diamond
3. Delicious... Ryan Reynolds
4. Funny... Chris
5. Green... M&M's
6. Ribbons... Pretty
7. Internet... Scrapbooking
8. BBQ... Daddy
9. People... Like being around them
10. Quirky... ME!!!!

Don't have much time to chat tonight because I just got back from karoke and I have to get up in a couple of hours to go to work!! Crazy!!!

Ice cream challenge....

2006-04-06T00:40:00.002-07:00

Challenge: Blog about your fave ice-cream flavor.

Summer is right around the corner. If you absolutely love the stuff, like I do! what's your fave flavor?
Do you have more than one? Is it a specific brand? Do you enjoy it in a cone or in a dish, piled up high with other yummy stuff?
Blog about this cool and delicious treat.
Cmon, I know you want some!

Oh man...Ice cream is my weakness...if i ever tell you i am going on a diet and you just want to be mean...put ice cream in front of my face...I can't resist it!!! I absolutely love chocolate chip cookie dough!!! Here recently I have been going to Braums and getting the Reeses' Peanut Butter Candy Bar Sundae ....OH MY GOODNESS!!! They are the best!!! I love all the trimmings!! Chocolate syrup, chocolate chips, whipped cream, M & M's ......everything!!!

I am getting hungry...I am fixing to go to Braums!!!

quotes

2006-04-06T00:40:00.001-07:00

I found these quotes here and there and love them...most of them make me think of me and JD and some of them are just plain cute...but I don't want to lose them so i am putting them on here...

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you

~There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!~

It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all of the little pieces

always remember--when a guy sweeps you off ur feet he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass

FiND the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot* who calls you back when you hung up on him* who will sit under the stars and listen to your heartbeat or will stay awake just to watch you sleep* the boy who pursues you & kisses you on the forehead* who wants to show you off to the WORLD even in your sweats* who holds your hand even in front of his friends* who insists on holding his arms around your waist* whos constantly reminding you how much he cares & how lucky he is to have you & the one who turns to his friends and says *thats HER

Here's to the men we love, here's to the men that love us... Since the men that we love, aren't the men that love us ... screw the men... here's to us.

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to
smile.

Nothing hurts more than realising he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

I got a phone call.....

2006-04-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

FROM JD'S GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!

Can you believe that? I am not even gonna waste my time to blog what she called about and what was said because it was stupid. Honestly....stupid! It makes me think that she called for him..to see what I was doing or to see if I had moved on....who know with him?!? I need to get off this subject and get on a new one....like scrapbooking...if I could get my stuff back. My SB stuff is still in Florida with my ex...I know he is busy and I am sure that my stuff isn't the first or the 50th thing on his mind...so I try not to bug him about it...hopefully when he comes back down to Arkansas for a fight he will remember to bring it...(or not and take me back to get it)....ha ha!!
I missed getting on 2Peas and some other sites....all the people are soo nice!!
Me and my friend Trish went to Wal Mart a couple of weeks ago and got us some really cute journals (that I plan to alter) to write ALL of our feelings down...now that we are single and don't have to worry about JD reading it....well her ex read hers one day but mine is in another state so i don't have much to worry about...it is kind of nice!!
Let's see today...not much happened...met a guy that Trish has started to date and that she claims she really likes...me and Gregg are doing good...as good as we can be with me having no heart!!! He is patient and waiting...which is just what i need!!

YAY!!! I get to do 2Pea challenges again........here is scraplady's

Challenge: Do you have a special place/places in your home, where you consider it to be your sanctuary??
You know what I mean, that special place FOR YOU, where you feel cuddled, loved, warm and fuzzy, and at peace?

I think that my sanctuary would be my bedroom....that is where I am ME!!! I watch TV, sleep, play with my puppy (Daisy Jo), write in my journal, cry, listen to the radio...everything...that is my place...I love it!

good quote!!

2006-03-24T17:29:00.002-08:00

Falling in love with someone isn't always gonna be easy...anger...tears...and laughter..it's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love one another!

Found this quote on Dawn's blog...she has some really good ones on there. This quote makes me think of me and JD because believe me it hasn't been all cotton candy..and for some reason I would still want to be with him!

I found some more cute quotes but I will put them on here later....I am soo excited to get my blog going again...it has been SO LONG!!!

just a note

2006-03-24T17:29:00.000-08:00

sorry I haven't wrote in a while....and this one isn't gonna be long...
I am back in Arkansas...have been for about a month...slowly but surely getting over JD...it is gonna take a while but it will happen sooner or later...I just hope this is what he really wants and not letting his pride get in the way because who knows when his pride will tell him he misses me (like it usually does) and hopefully it isn't too late! I will always think that we are meant to be but I can't be in a relationship by myself...I can't make him want to be with me. I kind of do think that he wants to be with me because we broke up because he thought I was talking to Gregg as more than just friends when we actually weren't. No one could take me away from JD. sorry if this doesn't make any sense...I am just typing away! JD actually called me not to long ago and told me that he did care about me (which is shocking because I almost could have betted my life on him not having emotions) and he didn't want me to bring Gregg to the fight (me and Gregg have been seeing each other since I have been in Arkansas) because he didn't want to see us together. He told me that me and Gregg would probably get married and him and Lauren wouldn't work out. He was exaggerating about me and Gregg getting married hopefully....
JD told me when he got to Arkansas that he wanted to come see me...and of course i said OK because I want us to stay in touch if we aren't gonna be together....but when he actually got to Arkansas I would try to call him and he would't answer. He is bi-polar....that's it...that is all i can think of!! He is in the mind state that I took some of his money...which kind of makes me mad but then again hurts my feelings because there is no way i would steal anything from him or anyone for that matter!! I was with him and loved him just as much when he had no job and a truck that didn't run as I do now when he has money and a nice truck....I love him for him! And to be honest it is kind of hard to find someone like that now-a-days!! So anyway I stay confused with him...i love him but i do need to be treated better than what he treats me....i don't know I hope eveything works out with us because i do love him and i think that we are meant to be....but like i said...a relationship is a two way street...it can't be just me trying to make it work!!!

I Leave Tomorrow!

2006-02-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

Well on my post about Daisy's bath Pattyanne left me a comment that told me I was sweet person...and I truly am but last night JD and I went out to eat at (of course) Friday's...and I actually said what was on mind! I was sort of happy but wierd...mixed feelings...I was happy I finally told him what I thought because usually when we aruge...he argues and I listen! I hate to say it but it kind of felt good to get SOME things I wanted to say to him out there...and needless to say....it really made him mad!! Before that dinner we were gonna be friends...now I can't honestly tell you if we will or not!!
Well, the guy that I was seeing when we were broken up (Gregg) is excited that I am coming back...so at least I will have someone to hang out with when I go back home and get my life straight...he seems nice...he told me that he completly understands that it is gonna take me a while to get over JD since we were together for so long...that is nice...but isn't all guys in the beginning? So we will see how it goes a couple of months from now. One thing I have to say is.....I have the best friends in the world!!! I remember a time when I was sooo into JD that the only friends I had were his guy friends and I can not even express how happy I am to have my own friends to be there for me now!! And they are wonderful!!!! I don't know what I would do without them!!
So I need to pack my stuff today because I leave tomorrow at 1:28pm. JD hasn't really said much to me since that dinner...so who knows what he is feeling but I told him at that dinner that there is no way that I can do this again...he seems to think that when I broke up with him 4 years ago that I will never have my heart broke like his was...but I think he has caught me up and maybe surpassed it a little bit! But even in his mind if I haven't gone through what he went through...my heart can't take anymore of this...it kills me!! I want us to be together and I think I have literally begged and worked enough for us but for my own well being I am gonna have to make myself tell him no.
At least I have my puppy to keep me happy! She loves me no matter what I do!
I wasn't able to get on 2Peas earlier so I don't know about any challenges that are going on today...I will check again later...I think I am gonna go now (before I get in packing mode) and make a ScrapBinder to put sketches and quotes and stuff in that I have saved on this computer so I can have them in Arkansas when I move!

Bath time!

2006-02-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

I gave Daisy a bath today...and yeah she hated me a little bit...but she needed and now she smells like baby powder!
After bath time I wrapped her up in a towel to keep her warm and dry her off and took this picture...I thought it was adorable!!!

Feeling better....

2006-02-21T17:16:00.000-08:00

I am feeling better about everything that is going on!
I am so happy that I am gonna be an individual and get MY life together!!!
Here are some blinkies that I thought were cute..

I scrapped a little bit since that website inspired me...since I don't have a digi camera or a scanner I took pictures with my cell phone of my layout...so you are gonna have to turn your head sideways to see them.....SORRY!!!

This one is my baby Daisy Jo and her Daddy (my Ex JD)

This is my little brother Colton and his puppy Turbo...the top circle says "It doesn't take much to make a happy life." and the bottom circle say "Colton and Turbo-April 4, 2005"

so what do you experts think?

I am soooo inspired today!

2006-02-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

I am!!
I am soo happy!!
Can you believe it...ever since me and JD broke up it has been so wierd and awkard around here..(and it still is cause he still talks to Lauren right in front of me...like he has to single out a certain time each day to talk to her and it us usually for at least 2 hours...she knows more about what is going on with him and he talks to her more than he does me and I live with him right now and she is 2500 miles away...crazy) I so can not wait to get out of here and get back home! Once I get home I won't have to wonder since he has been the in bedroom for the past hour and a half "is he talking to her?"....or think "this is the 5th time he has went to the bathroom with his phone..what is he doing?" And I absolutely hate the fact that he told me that he loved her....I don't want to hear him say that!!!
But, to me, he acts like he just can't wait to rid of me....like once I leave he won't have to hide in the bedroom or bathroom to talk to her...and I won't be here to aruge with!
I do argue with him about it and I know I shouldn't but I can't shut my feelings off within seconds like he can!!!!
Another thing that ticks me off is that if he did miss me....I think he would die before he actually admitted that he missed me!!!
So what I am saying is that if could lower his pride just a little bit then we could have a really good relationship but since he has to be tough and won't admit or tell me if he doesn miss me...we are just gonna ruin a good thing.......does that make sense?

Anyway..........
I am soo inspired today....
I found a good website that has so many cute challenges...that look doable to a new scrapper like me!!!
I haven't scrapped in a while...kind of depressed that I don't have a scanner or a digi camera to show everyone what I have done!
So I think I am gonna go scrap a bit before this feeling leaves me.........

What would you do if.........

2006-02-19T11:19:00.000-08:00

Today's 2Peas challenge from burberry girl-------------------------------

Alrighty, today's random challenge is "What would you do?"

What would you do if you won a million dollars?......pay off my car, pay off my dad's car, help out my friends and family who need it, then go shopping for EVERYTHING!!!
What would you do if you have no children? (for those who doesn't, just think reverse)......sleep, probably, I don't know, if I didn't have my Daisy Jo I would be bored because she keeps me busy and happy
What would you do if you are the president of the United States?.....there is no way I could be President because I know nothing about politics or anything like that, that stuff does not interest me at all!
What would you do if you skip a meal?....I skip meals all the time so I probably wouldn't even notice...as a matter of fact I skipped dinner tonight!!
What would you do if you are in your ideal weight? (let's face it, who ever is?)....wear a short shirt that would show off my stomach and flaunt it in front of my ex's face!
What would you do if you could meet anyone you want and who would that be?....I think I would meet Bam Margera and if I ever did meet him I think he would keep us pretty busy!
What would you do if you are famous?....wave at the cameras and shop
What would you do if you are a "scrapbooking celebrity"?...be happy, that would be a great job!
What would you do if you could change anything in the world?...I have said this before but I would put all the people that have bad intentions on thier own deserted island
What would you do if you don't scrapbook?...hmmm I don't know, I am sure that I would find something to do..but I choose to scrapook

well that was fun! Thanks burberry girl!
Don't have much time right now....so i will blog more tomorrow!!!

My Blinkies!

2006-02-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to put my blinkies that I have found on here....looking at scrapbooking websites has got me addicted to these things...and you can't put them all on your siggy and there are so many cute ones...I am gonna put them here so I can show them!!

I like this one because everyone thinks I am "cute"...never hot or goodlooking or even ugly....everyone says I am "cute"...so that is me...cutie pie!

love will and grace!

I think eyes are sexy!...and backs and shoulders on guys...but on women...gotta have sexy eyes!

I put this on one of my earlier posts but it is so cute and SO TRUE that I had to put it again!

love lighthouses!

had to have this one on here.....

born in July!!!

Can't think of a good title

2006-02-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

sorry...
my mind is not working today...

Today's 2Peas challenge from burberry girl is to name my most guilty pleasures:
Oh My Goodness..

These are my soaps....I Love Them!
They are probably the most out-landish soaps you will ever watch but I am hooked...I have watched Passions since it first started. I seen the very first episode..I can't remember what it was about..something with a town fair I think...but that is a guilty pleasure...I watch them everyday if I can!!

My second guilty pleasure is:

Like I have said a thousand time...............I AM ADDICTED!!!
I love Dr. Pepper....love it so much that I have this:

That is right....Dr.Pepper chapstick!!!!! love it too!!

Today has been OK so far...no garuntees though.
JD just left to go work out and told me if I got bored I could go get his truck washed.......YAY!!!!! Who would pass up a chance to do that? Goodness!!

The Meaning of my name

2006-02-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER BORING THING FOR YA'LL....BUT REALLY COOL FOR ME
http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

You entered: Nikki Faye Turner

There are 15 letters in your name.
Those 15 letters total to 79
There are 6 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 7

The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.

The expression or destiny for #7:
Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11

An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

My Birthday Calculator

2006-02-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

THIS IS PROBABLY GONNA BE BORING FOR YOU GUYS BUT IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING TO ME!!!
THIS WEBSITE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDATE
http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

You entered: 7/24/198

Your date of conception was on or about 1 November 1983 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Leo.

Your Life path number is 8.
The Life Path 8 suggests that you entered this plane armed to lead, direct, organize and govern. You are very ambitious and goal-oriented. You will want to use your ambitions, your organizational ability, and your efficient approach to carve a satisfying niche for yourself. If you are a positive 8 you are endowed with tremendous potential for conceiving far-reaching schemes and ideas, and also possessing the tenacity and independence to follow them through to completion. In short, you were born to be an executive.

You know how to manage yourself and your environment. Your ability to judge the character and potential of the people around you is an asset used to your advantage. A large part of your success in life comes from how hard you work. This Life Path is the most prone to producing workaholics. But your ability to spot good people and engage them in your endeavors is a special trait not to be overlooked. There is an inspirational quality in your makeup which allows you to become a great leader. You are practical and steady in your pursuit of major objectives, and you have the courage of your convictions when it comes to taking the necessary chances to get ahead.

With the Life Path of the number 8 you are focused on learning the satisfactions to be found in the material world. The Life Path 8 produces many powerful, confident and materially successful people. Most of your concerns involve money and learning of the power that comes with its proper manipulation.

This Life Path is perhaps the one that is the most concerned with and desirous of status as an ultimate measure of success. You want to be recognized for your hard work and achievements. The attainment of%2

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445905.5.
The golden number for 1984 is 9.
The epact number for 1984 is 27.
The year 1984 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/2/1984 and ending 2/19/1985.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 22 April 1984.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 7 March 1984.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1984.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 17 June 1984.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 25 September 1984.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Sunday, 15 April 1984.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 6 March 1984.

As of 2/17/2006 11:21:12 PM EST
You are 21 years old.
You are 259 months old.
You are 1,125 weeks old.
You are 7,878 days old.
You are 189,095 hours old.
You are 11,345,721 minutes old.
You are 680,743,272 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.08336594911937 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 157 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1984 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1984 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1984 in the US there were 2,487,000 marriages (10.5%) and 1,155,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1984 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

Your birthstone is Ruby

The Mystical properties of Ruby
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone...Carnelian

Your birth tree is

Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness

Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.

There are 311 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 324 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

Fun things about me

2006-02-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

This is the other 2Peas challenge by burberry girl......
I couldn't find it earlier but here it is

1. I am terrified at scary movies....I am one of those girls that guys like to take to scary movies because I am all over whoever is in the seat next to me! Can't help it....I am a whiner!!

2. I was gonna be Homecoming Queen but the girl that lost cried and said she had already bought her dress (the Queen wore white and the maids wore red) so they gave it to her and I ended up being a maid....but it was fun!!

Pretty card........

2006-02-17T13:57:00.000-08:00

You are the Star card. The Star is the light of

hope. Shining in the night, sending light

into darkness, the stars provide direction to

sailors and are a field on which to dream.

Humanity used to look up at the sky and

desire to be there, to find out what it all

meant, and now we have been a distance into

space and have elementary ideas of the makeup

of all the different stars. This kind of

achievement adds further fuel to our hopes.

The eternal, slow-moving stars that will be

long shining past the end of our own

existence provide hope of immortality, and

the vast space they suggest and the very

mystery they hold provide us with excitement

and knowledge yet to be discovered. Image

from: Danielle Sylvie Taylor

http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Another quiz!

2006-02-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

You are PAPER!

You are an all natural basic person who likes to

act as a foundation to others. You are

willing to take a backseat in most of your

relationships and let others take the

spotlight, while you show your support and

help them shine! Underneath it all, you are

the one who makes it all happen. You are the

focus and stability in any group, even if you

are not the leader. Others look to you to set

the pace and provide ideas for ways to get

things done. But Paper Beware - sometimes you

get a little edgy with the people who look to

you for support and can give them some

papercut remarks that can hurt their

feelings. Remember to watch what you say,

because you are best when leading by example.

What scrapbooking item are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Chatterbox

2006-02-17T13:46:00.000-08:00

You are CHATTERBOX paper!
You enjoy being a social butterfly and tend

sometimes to think of scrapbooking more as a

social event! When at a crop you might find

yourself talking more than scrapping! But

that's okay, when you do do a page it is

bright and sunny just like your personality!

Which Scrapbooking Paper Collection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am a Susan!!

2006-02-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

Took a quiz that told me what Desperate Housewife I was ..........

Congratulations! You are Susan Mayer, the divorcee

and single mom who will go to extraordinary

lengths for love.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Me and New Boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

ME!!!

And MY NEW BOYFRIEND!!!!

LOVELY!!!! HA HA

Going out to eat

2006-02-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

Well JD asked me if I wanted to go out to eat tonight.

Love TGI Friday's....only place we eat when we go out!!!
That is always nice. We get along so good and it seems like everything will be OK if it just stayed like that....but then Lauren calls or it gets that time of night when he goes outside to call her and everything jumps back in my face that everything isn't OK and isn't gonna be OK!
Last night I talked to Gregg...and that made me feel a little better. I told him what was going on and I told him that me and JD were gonna be friends....and he said "I UNDERSTAND"....I have never heard that from a guy! That was nice. He understands that it is gonna take me a while to get over JD and is willing to deal with it. He told me he would be there to help me. That makes me feel better! At least I don't feel like I am trying to hang on to JD while his girlfriend calls every other couple of hours...at least now I have someone to talk to!
I wonder if JD feels uncomfortable?
Probably not....

Here is the 2Peas challenges........

Scraplady's challenge-------------

Remember the old adage, " Be angry, but sin not. "

This journaling challenge is all about our anger.

What makes you angry? When have you gotten angry in the past, and how did you deal with that anger? Have you been able to deal with your anger constructively??

Well I have been angry but the only times that come to mind right now is being angry at JD everytime he broke up with me and found someone else within two days! And everything I have put myself through and how stupid I have made myself look to keep us together and he doesn't have an inkling of an idea of how I have felt or what I have went through for him and because of him and honestly he doesn't care to know! And it makes me angry that there is no possible way of him hindering his pride to be with me.
I dealt with it all by just not saying anything to anyone and trying to forget it all. I just kept it all to myself. If anything came up about something that he done in the past that made me mad I would just ignore it or try not to think about it because I wanted us to stay together!
It makes me angry that he doesn't see everything I have done for us...and he isn't willing to put in a quarter of what I have put into keeping us together!

OK......that was nice!

Thought this was cute....

Cute Challenge that made me smile!!

2006-02-17T06:28:00.000-08:00

I seen this on a site and I thought it was cute....so simple but it put a smile on face:

List 17 thing that make you happy:

1. dr pepper
2. my blue jeans
3. my Daisy Jo (my puppy)
4. bowling with my buddies
5. being in love
6. shopping
7. watching reality TV
8. candles
9. the beach at night
10. babies
11. hugs and kisses
12. cheesy fiesta potatoes from taco bell
13. cuddling watching movies
14. fishing
15. entertaining friends
16. taking pictures
17. a clean house

wow..that was fun....i could go on and on!!!!

Want to go home....Don't want to go home

2006-02-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

I am so confused!
I want to go home because it is so wierd here....living with your ex while another girl calls him! I wish I could be like him because he seems like he just shut all his feelings off for me...like it doesn't bother him! I wish I could just shut down. But then again I kind of wish we would work out because I love him! But I have made the decision that Hopefully if he does call and want me back that I have the strength to tell him NO! I shoudn't have to do this just to be with someone...out of all the people in the world I am sure I can find someone. I have a guy named Gregg waiting for me at home! I thought that since I was with JD for so long that if something like this happened (and I admit that it was a mistake talking to Gregg) that he would give me the benefit of the doubt instead of not even talking about it! Cause in the past 4 years I have not done anything to hurt our relationship in the least...which is something he can't come even close to saying!
Anyway...I haven't done much..I have to call the airline and reserve Daisy a seat on the plane! I need to go grocery shopping (for my ex)! and I need to clean (my ex's apartment)!
Would you guys do that? Would you still cook his supper and clean and everything?

so here are the 2Peas challenges..............

Random challenge for Thursday from burberry girl--------

Never say never. That never worked for me. I know there's just some things I won't do period. Let's list some of our "never in a million year would you catch me doing" things. Scrapbooking related or just anything.

1. I would never bungy jump. I am not that adventerous.
2. I would never do anything to hurt my family or friends.
3. I would never purposely break someone's heart.
4. I would never cheat on my boyfriend/hubby. If I liked someone more than them I think I would just tell them instead of sneaking.
5. I will never have those busy but beautiful scrapbooking layouts. I am just not that creative.
6. I will never give up my morals or my beliefs.
7. I will never figure out how men (or at least my guy friends) rate women on thier scale of "cute", "hot", and so on.

Ok...now Bonnie's challenge---------------
What is something that you have not yet done, that you believe you can accomplish during your lifetime?

1. I will be a mom again....had a miscarriage with Natalie.
2. I will be a wife and a good one.
3. I want to go back to 6 Flags or some amusement park.
4. I will get my degree.
5. I will get a good paying job that I love.
6. I will be happy in a relationship that lasts forever!
7. I want to travel to beautiful places
8. I want to have a better body

Challenges for today.

2006-02-15T12:16:00.000-08:00

Ok...don't really have much to say today....don't really want to say much to tell ya the truth! But these challenges make me feel better so here we go.

well this is a quiz i got off of burberry girl's blog:

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

thought that was cute for Valentines Day since I spent mine arguing with JD!

here is another one that i found while doing that one and just had to see what it said

well it was about what relationship you need to be in but for some reason it copied the heart thing twice so anyway it said I needed to be in a marriage!
HILARIOUS!!! It is so true because I am ready to settle down at any time IF i ever find the right guy because I think i have finally come to the conclusion that it isn't JD...it took me a while...I know but better late than never!!!

now for the challenges on 2Peas:

burberry girl's challenge-----
Let's face it, no parents are perfect, they all do things we swear never doing it to our own kids. What's some on your no-no list?

1. I will tell my kid that I love them everyday...everyday!!
2. I will not let my child have a serious relationship at a young age....been there and don't want my child going through what I am
3. My kids feelings will always come before mine
4. I will love my husband in front of my kids
and like i always say..i am sure there are more but i can't think of everything now!

Bonnierose's challenge-----
List your immediate family members and share what you admire most in them, young and old.

I don't have many people in my family but here it goes:

Dad: I love him! I admire his ability to always love me no matter what. I know that has to be hard sometimes.

Colton: my little brother. I love his childish outlook and his grown up thoughts. I love the way he looks at life like no big deal but thinks he is 30 and gives me advice all the time!

My uncle and aunts: I can't say one is better than the other because anytime i need them..they are there for me. They are my lifesavers!

My cousins: are my best friends...I can tell them anything

well this didnt kind of go with challenge but that is where it took me...so there it is!
It felt nice today to have a little fun....JD's girlfriend Lauren just called so there goes my fun! Eventhough we are broke up...it still breaks my heart when they talk!
Oh Well.......pray for me!!!!

One Day at a Time.............

2006-02-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

That is how I am gonna recover. One day at a time! I think I will be ok....I know I will be ok...I just have to get over the heartbreak stage and get my life back together AGAIN!!!
I haven't really told everyone the story and I will....in time...and it probably won't seem that bad to everyone to else but..to me...it is my world. I know I am only 21 (almost 22) and my life is far but over but I have always been more mature for my age and I have wanted to settle down for a while now!
The only thing that sucks is that I am still in Florida with my ex! Yeah, I moved down here from Arkansas to be here with him while he boxes...so now I have to stay here until Feb 23rd...cause that is when he booked my plane ticket! So I don't know how I am gonna do that...it is gonna be wierd! Can you imagine?

It finally happened......

2006-02-13T17:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I just thought I would let everyone know.....it finally happened....we broke up!
It sucks but there isn't anything I can do about it. So it might a little bit before I blog again just so I don't take it out on here....I will calm down and then get back to blogging!!

Friday Night!

2006-02-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

Well, not much happened today but I am sitting at home alone bored and thought I would blog!
I dont' really have much to blog about but now that I am hooked on these things...I can't help it!
I got supper at Taco Bell tonight...JD left after he ate to go move a desk with his trainer or something..so he has been gone forever...and there is no telling what he is doing. My guess is they are probably out having a good time while I sit at home alone bored!
It makes my stomach hurt thinking about it!

A Week of Awkardness!

2006-02-10T07:34:00.000-08:00

Ok..well today I guess I am gonna start off with burberry girl's challenge from 2Peas...

If you are a superhero then what power would you want to have? Pick an existen super hero, or make one up on your own. Or both!

I just wrote this in a letter to JD last night! I told him that if I had a super-power tool I would rewind time. If I could go back and take away one regret that I have it would be 6 years ago when I broke up with him. Cause if I had never done that, things would be so different now.

Yesterday when I was sitting at home by myself while JD was at the gym I started thinking about me and him and if he had thought anymore about us and if we were gonna stay together so I had decided that when he got home I was gonna try to bring it up and see what happens because this really sucks being 1500 miles away from home and not having anyone to talk to or hang out with. So I was cooking supper and decided to let the bomb drop...I asked him if he had thought anymore about us and somehow we went from that to him asking me if I had talked to Gregg. The last time I talked to Gregg was when JD was taking a nap when he called and JD handed me my phone. I talked to him where JD could hear just to show him that we talk about truck tires and wheel measurements so JD would know that we don't talk about anything mushy! Anyway...I asked him if he still talks to Lauren and he told me he does....I was wondering because I never see her call and never see them talking.
So before we could actually talk about anything his manager called and told him that he wanted JD to go over to a gym so he could see how he is doing...and that made JD mad because he just got home from the gym and was tired and supper wasn't ready yet so he wasn't gonna get to eat. Well I fixed him a plate really quick so he could eat and when he left he just told me "See Ya Later". That hurts worse than anything...when he leaves and says "see ya" with no kiss, no I love you, nothing!!!
So anyway while he was gone I wrote him a 6 page letter to get everything off my chest because I never get to see him and talk to him and I was hoping to be in bed by the time he got home but I wasn't.
When he got home he sat down on the couch and started reading it..so I went to go fold laundry and put up the dishes...it was awkard!
When he got through reading it...he didn't say anything!!!
I didn't want to ask...I guess I will let him think about it! He ate some grapes with me and watched TV for a while and then asked me if I was gonna go to bed because he was going.
So I was hoping that when we went to bed, he would just cuddle with me and everything will be OK......but that didn't happen! Maybe him and Lauren have already talked about getting back together and now he has his plate full! I don't know!!!
I am so confused! This whole situation has made me want to be single for the rest of my life!!!!

Name Challenge

2006-02-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

I love this challenge....

Spell out your first name. With every letter, think of a specific word that describes you. In any way. Your personality. A character trait. Something you love. Anything. Elaborate on each word that you have chosen for ea letter in your name.

Ok...My name is Nikki....so here it goes...........

N: Nurturing--I love everyone! And you know sometimes...that sucks! It is hard to be mean to people even when you need to. I absolutely love my family and my friends and of course my little puppy Daisy Jo!

I: Independant--I have always been independant..even since I was a little girl. I am now losing it a little bit and giving most of it to JD but before I met him I would always do my own thing. I have never in my life drank a drink of alcohol or smoked a cigerette!

K: Kind--This is kind of like nurturing...I am always nice to people! If there is anything I could do to help someone I will try my hardest to do it. I am the friend that my friends call at 2am because they know that it wouldn't bother me...that I am always there for them!

K: Kid--I will forever be a kid! I love watching kid movies and playing kid games. I love kids! I can't wait to me a mom...when I am ready!

I: Intelligent--I like to be caught up on everything from the news to local gossip. I always got good grades in school and still like to learn new things!

That was a good challenge...and really a challenge..it was hard trying to think of the certain words.

Umm...besides the name challenge there really isn't much to blog about! I haven't done anything. JD has another sinus infection..I feel bad for him because I know they suck! I found out last night that my friend Lori wasn't gonna go to California so that is good for her. I am waiting on JD's fight in Oklahoma City February 25th to see if he wants me to go home or if he wants me to stay here in Florida with him. I want to stay here but we haven't talked about it so I don't know. I just hope he knows I love him and I want to support him!
Daisy does this thing now where she looks like she is trying to sneak up on you to pounce...she is sooo cute! I was folding laundry in the bedroom and in the corner of my eye I seen her sneaking up on me and I couldn't help but laugh and as soon I moved she jumped on me. I don't know what I would do without her!

Who Knows?

2006-02-08T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well....I dont' even know what to say about me and JD today!
We didn't talk much today...he came from his trainers last night and I guess had decided that we weren't gonna work...this morning we were as cold to each other as ever and just out of the blue he kisses me.......I honestly wonder what goes through a guys mind.....that would be a scientific experiment that I wouldn't mess with.
I had chicken laid out for dinner tonight and he asked me before he left for the gym if I wanted to go out and eat but then when he left there was no kiss goodbye!
who knows?!?
Today when he was taking a nap, my phone rang.....it was Gregg! He has a sense for calling at the worst times possible! Well since he told me that we weren't gonna work and that I could talk to him...I answered it and talked to him in the next room where JD could hear everything I was saying...maybe that will make him realize that he has nothing to worry about....anyway me and Gregg talked about the tires that he is gonna get on his truck...well after I got off the phone JD got up from his nap and took his phone into the bathroom (which isn't unusual) and then came out to eat tuna fish and said he couldn't sleep......
I wonder what that was all about....or maybe I am reading to much into stuff?
who knows?
Well all I can do is just hope for the best...I told him I wanted to stay and that last time we broke up and got back together he didn't want to quit talking to his ex and I said that was fine as long as I had nothing to worry about and that is about all I can say....so we will see how dinner and tonight goes?

So far all the 2Peas challenges I have done has been from burberry girl (sorry if that is wrong) but I seen this one from ScrapLady....

***In typical WHAT NOT TO WEAR fashion... DESCRIBE your clothing style.
Would you be a great candidate for the show? Why/whynot? Are all your clothes outdated? same style? not flattering? What would your friends/family say?
Take a hard look at your appearance today.. and take a peek in your closet.
Would Stacy get rid of your wardrobe?
If doing a layout, include some pics of your fave outfits etc, and your clothing style today... and when journaling, be frank and honest.***

I would love to meet Stacy and Clinton. Everyone that argues about them throwing thier clothes away....I would not have one gripe!!! Well maybe my T-shirts and jeans! Just because they are so comfortable....and well.....that is pretty much all I have.
I am a blue jeans and T-shirt girl!!!!
I have very few cute shirts to go out in and honestly don't really care for them.
I have my softball cleats, my flip-flops, my tennis shoes and my boots.
and that, my friends, is my WHOLE wardrobe!!!
You know it is bad when my dad tells me I need to show off a little more skin!! Cause even in my High School days I never wore the spaghetti strap shirts or the slinky shirts...always a T-shirt!!!
Stacy and Clinton would have a hay day with me and my wardrobe!!!!!

this is my wardrobe....this is what I am in all the time!!!!

Challenge from 2Peas

2006-02-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

Ok..since I vented about JD and still need to vent more (I could vent forever about him)..anyway the challenge for today at 2peas I don't really know cause I don't even know what the garden girls are so since I forgot to blog yesterday I am just gonna do yesterday's challenge...

Name from numerb 1-10 (or how ever many you want) and how those number are significant in your life.
1. One Daisy Jo...my wonderful puppy
2. it takes Two people in a relationship
3. I have Three amazing men in my life..my dad, my brother, and JD
4. I got my four front teeth knocked out in a bike wreck when I was little
5. how many people I want in my nuclear family (me,JD, and 3 kids)
6. years me and JD have been together
7. my lucky number
8. the grade i started my new school
9. nine wonderful months that you are pregnant...haven't gotten there
10. hoping i will be married with in the next 10 years

I probably could go on if I wanted to think about things but honestly i am just not in the mood!!!

I was an honor graduate & still don't understand my boyfriend

2006-02-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

Isn't that amazing!
I graduated with honors...always got good grades...I can do trig anytime you want me too...but if you ask me to argue with my boyfriend and then tell you about it and try to make it make sense...sorry...I couldn't do it!
Me and JD are arguing because I talked to the guy I was seeing when me and JD broke up so he thinks it is only fair that he talks to the girl he was seeing (who is Lauren).
My side of the story....
1. he broke up with me
2. him and lauren had a relationship
3. me and gregg (the guy i was seeing)saw each other twice and were never anything serious...i wouldn't even call him an ex
4. i told him that he has absolutely nothing to worry about when i talk to gregg and i would even stop talking to him if need be but he can't tell me that I have nothing to worry about when he talks to lauren and that worries me. If he could just tell me honestly that I am his Number One and I have nothing to worry about then I think everything would be ok.
He tells me sometimes that he wants me to go back to Arkansas and I when I asked him if that is what he really wants...he tells me..."if you want.."
AHHH......I DON'T WANT TO!!!!
I have told him I wanted to stay here like 20,000 times and I don't know what more to tell him to convince him that I want to stay.
Our big problem is that I get mad whenever he talks to Lauren and he doesn't get mad whenever I talk to Gregg. Maybe I am wrong and maybe I am being the stupid one...but it would just make me feel better if he could tell me "honestly" that I have nothing to worry about concerning Lauren....I don't know...it is hard to understand!
Sorry if i confused everyone....I just had to get some of that off my chest and really it still doesn't help because I can't get it through to him how I think about things and how I see things...When he left to go to the gym he told me to treat him like a friend! Need I remind everyone that we have been dating for 7 years...I don't know if it is just me but it would be hard to be just his friend! I told him if that is all that we can be then i will try but it is gonna suck!
I don't know what to do.....
I wish he was just a sheet of math problems I could figure out and be done with!!!

YaY!! The Superbowl is here!!!

2006-02-05T11:06:00.001-08:00

YaY!! The superbowl is here....you know what that means...Football is almost over!!! I am going for the Seahawks because I like the little neon green stripe they have on thier uniforms. So....GO SEAHAWKS!!!!.....
We really don't have any big plans for today...we were invited to JD's trainer's house but we will probably just order pizza and hang out at the house.
This blog isn't very long cause I haven't done anything today besides pumping myself up for this AMAZING football game!!! I guess I will like watching the commercials.
Have a good Sunday!

Boys and thier toys!

2006-02-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

I just have one simple question.....
What is it with guys and Playstation? (or XBox or GameCube or whatever)
They can play that thing for hours upon hours....I mean I can be on the computer for a long time but I can't stay on it ALL day. Sooner or later I run out of things to look at or go numb sitting in front of a computer screen. At least I take breaks...like to eat or get a Dr. Pepper. It amazes me! JD's friends come over and they all go the bedroom where the Playstation is and I don't see them for the rest of the day.

Well tonight in our home state (Arkansas) they are having a boxing matches that my boyfriend was supposed to fight in...so right now we could be at home visiting family and friends but JD's manager thought he should stay and train until his next fight so I have been on the phone with my friends all night listening to what is going on. Our friend Robin fought tonight and he won in the second round...so that is good and I am proud of him!! Our other friend Josh is fighting too..but I haven't heard anything about that yet.
I am so excited I finally figured out how to post pictures....I am so not a technical person!!!
Well not much happened today...We went to eat at Applebee's earlier...which was a change because our usual resteraunt is TGI Friday's. Did some laundry, wash some dishes, cleaned the bathroom.....tell me that isn't exciting!!!!

Ummm...the challenge today was about looking at your old scrapbook pages and your new ones to see how you have changed.....well I just started so not much has changed.

Ok...well I am gonna go try to wrestle them away from the tv screen! wish me luck!

My Baby Daisy Jo

2006-02-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

This is my Daisy Jo...she is my pride and joy!! I don't know what I would do without her. I got her when I first moved down to Florida to keep me company while JD was out boxing all day. She was so adorable when I seen her in the place we got her there was no way I could pass her up. She is a teacup chihuahua and way way expensive...but she is worth it! When I got her she wieghed 1.2 pounds and she was 3 months old. She was from Oklahoma and her birthday is June 15, 2005. I thought it was so cute they told me all of that stuff just like I was picking up a baby or something. She cracks me up at all the stuff she does...anyway now she is 7 months old and she wieghs 3 pounds....she is growing up!! She lost one of her teeth the other day. I didn't know dogs lost thier teeth but the vet told me that around six months she should lose her baby teeth and get adult teeth. Well I checked her mouth and she already had most of her adult teeth and I didn't even noticed! What kind of momma am I? It is so cute though...she still has her two baby front teeth!
What is horrible is that I kept the tooth that fell out so I can put it in her scrapbook...I am so addicted to scrapbooking!
Well I finally learned how to put pictures on my blog and I just wanted to show every one my prize possession!!

Sneaky Boyfriend

2006-02-02T14:03:00.000-08:00

Well this morning was more exciting than usual.
My boyfriend JD woke up this morning before I did because I haven't felt good and was up late...well I kept sleeping cause I need it.
I heard the door open and close and usually wherever we go we always tell each other bye no matter if we are asleep or not...well the door closed and so I got up to see where he was at. I didn't see him anywhere but I seen his keys so I called him to see where he was at and he was outside talking to a friend and he sounded mad...I was thinking there is no way I could have already done something bad this morning I haven't even got out of bed yet!
Well he came back in and I asked him what his deal was and he told me he read my diary and wondered if I really wanted to be with him cause he seen where I had wrote that I was getting along with the guy that was dating pretty good. We talked FOREVER!!! So he went to the bank and cashed his check and when he got back he was gonna take a nap on the couch and just kind of :left me no where to sit: because in our apartment we have just our couch and coffee table and big screen tv...there really isn't any room for another chair. So again I asked what his deal was...and he told me he didn't have one...can you believe that?...he didn't have one....so i guess we are just gonna act like he doesn't have one. Men are so..........I dont' know what they are! But putting up with them doesn't mix well when you dont' feel good!
OK enough of that....here are the 2peas challenges for today:

Random YOU

1. Where were you born?
2. Name something you've always wanted to do.
3. What do you want to be when you grow up?
4. What's the number one problem we face in the world today?
5. If you could change the world, what would you do?
6. What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?
7. Favorite word?

1. I was born in Fort Smith, Arkansas
2. I have always wanted to have children...I can't wait to be a mom!!! I pretty much raised my little brother and I love giving my friend's a day off and taking care of thier little ones for a while.
3. When I grow up I want to be an Occupational Therapist....but with the way things are going I dont' know if that is gonna happen...I just want to be happy and content!
4. The biggest problem this world faces is women with hormones
5. If I could change the world everyone that is bad hearted will be put on thier own deserted island.....bad hearted means--stupid people, rude people, mean people, and people who flat get on my nerves
6. Hmmm...the most dangerous thing...probably letting my guard down and giving my heart away so young
7. my favorite word by far is GOODNESS!!!!

Random Challenge of the day:

List some of the goals you have as a scrapbooker.

My goals as a scrapbooker is to learn new techniques as I go. I would like to get all the albums done that I bought from QVC and hopefully get the album done of JD's car. I would like to go to some crops and see what they are like and try to keep up with all the message boards!!

Ok well not much has happened today besides my sneaky boyfriend...just surfing on the web when I can breathe with my sinus infection and trying for sleep every once in a while....hopefully I will still have friends when I get better because I haven't talked to anyone in a long time!!!

I Feel Horrible!!

2006-02-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well...I haven't felt good these past couple of days and it doesn't seem like it is getting any better. I wish some genious would come up with a pill that you can take and get over a sickness completely. I think I have gotten 2 hours sleep in the past 3 nights...so I am running on like less than a quarter of a tank!!
Since I don't have much energy I haven't done much today...mostly just hanging out on my computer. I love this thing...when I get on here I can just block everyone else out...it is wonderful!
So of course I went on my favorite scrapbooking website and there we have a blogger challenge....

Wednesday random challenge: List some of the topics/photos/events that's easy for you to scrap, also list some that's difficult for you to scrap.

Easy for me to scrap:
Daisy Jo
my little brother (Colton)
Halloween
Christmas
my little cousin (Whitnie)
my friend Lori's baby (Zak)

Hard for me:
everyday things
Natalie
Thankgiving
4th of july

I am sure there are more of both things but with my head the way it is feeling I am lucky to get those out.

Not much happened today...didn't feel like cooking supper so me and JD went to Friday's to eat...I love Friday's and I feel so bad that I didn't even eat much!
Well I am going to scrapbook and watch American Idol ( I love the auditions ).....
pray for me to feel better

Thanks to my wonderful cousin....

2006-01-31T20:47:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my wonderful cousin...I now have a blog that everyone in the entire world can read! She introduced me to these things...so keep in mind for all you experienced bloggers that I am a beginner so I am pretty for sure that my blog is not gonna look near as pretty as everyone else's.
Well I guess to get started with this thing I will tell EVERYONE that I was talking to one of my *friends* the other day about this whole blogging thing and he reccommend that I do it so he can come read what I write about....so here it is! Talking about him; I haven't talked to him in a while...I need to call him. I haven't felt the best the past couple of days so I haven't really did anything to talk about and everytime we talk on the phone we usually talk for at least an hour ( I usually have a time limit when he is at work and it is usually the time he gets off work so it depends on when I call to what my time limit is). It doesn't bother me though cause we never have any silent pauses the whole time we are talking...usually it is me talking but he chimes in every once in a while. He cracks me up!! He never seems to forget to mention me coming home though...that is a long story that I kind of would like to write about just to make sure that my *friend* knows how I feel about the whole situation but we have talked a little about it and who knows how long that blog entry would be!
Well today I got up at 7:00am to take Richie to school because I am such a nice person that I can't say no...I would have really liked to sleep in but I went anyway. It really doesn't take that long; it is just the fact of getting up and getting dressed and going somewhere. I haven't slept in two night at all...I mean not even a wink...I don't know why (my *friend* seems to think it is a sign that I should come back home) but whatever it is I hope it gets fixed because it is starting to suck. Good thing I don't have to work so I can take a nap when I want...I am a pretty lucky person!
I absolutely love watching Days of our Lives and Passions so when they come on my girlfriend Lori usually calls me from Arkansas and then I use my yahoo messenger to talk to my cousin and we all watch our soaps together...yes I know we are weird!
Anyway today I watched most of Days and my now boyfriend (JD-who used to be my ex about a month ago) got a call from his manager (Scott- my boyfriend is a boxer) to go to the doctor to see if he could get anything for his sinuses. So right whenever Passions was fixing to come on we had to go to the doctors office and sit in that exciting place while Passions was on and no one was home to watch it. I told JD that he was lucky we had the internet so I can get ont he website and recap what happened today...I am usually not THAT picky about our soaps but Passions takes FOREVER to come to a conclusion about whatever secrets they have going on and one is just about to come out...I can feel it...and I was just for sure that it was gonna be today and I was gonna be at the doctors office. Well it didn't...nothing exciting happened...so JD was lucky!
When we got home from the doctors I started on my scrapbook and got 6 pages done! That is good for me...really good! I am addicted to scrapbooking...another thanks to my cousin. Scrapbooking can be an expensive hobby...she forgot to mention that until I was completely addicted. What a friend?!?
Well I stopped scrapbooking because I was for sure I was missing a good tv show...so I looked and looked for something I usually watch and on every channel was the State of the Union Address...I am really not into politics so here I am blogging!
I just want EVERYONE to know that I am usually not this bad of a couch potato...I am originally from Arkansas and most of the time I am outside doing something or shopping with Lori but I moved to Florida with JD so now I am in the city and the saying you always hear "You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl" is soooo true!!!! I hate it here...but I can't blame anyone but myself eventhough my *friend* told me if I came home he would forget that this whole Florida thing happened...and I have to say that is a pretty good offer because there is no way I could do that. The only way I could is if I really cared about someone and we have just been talking about a month so that makes me wonder?

A Country Girl's Thoughts

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

** I love me some quotes **

Card Making

Some general questions...

A true friend

My Friend

Highway 109

The Hair Cut

Touched me....

A Newborn's Conversation with God

A general survey....

LIFETIME ?'s

Answering some questions...

Journaling Prompts.......((really really long))

Personality Test that works!!!

5 things about me

LIFETIME ?'s

LIFETIME ?'s

Questions fom Lifetime Moments....

Challenge...

Slogan Generator

Man O Man!!!

What a Day!!!

Bloglifting.....

Challenge...

Ice cream challenge....

quotes

I got a phone call.....

good quote!!

just a note

I Leave Tomorrow!

Bath time!

Feeling better....

I am soooo inspired today!

What would you do if.........

My Blinkies!

Can't think of a good title

The Meaning of my name

My Birthday Calculator

Fun things about me

Pretty card........

Another quiz!

Chatterbox

I am a Susan!!

Me and New Boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

Going out to eat

Cute Challenge that made me smile!!

Want to go home....Don't want to go home

Challenges for today.

One Day at a Time.............

It finally happened......

Friday Night!

A Week of Awkardness!

Name Challenge

Who Knows?

Challenge from 2Peas

I was an honor graduate & still don't understand my boyfriend

YaY!! The Superbowl is here!!!

Boys and thier toys!

My Baby *Daisy Jo*

Sneaky Boyfriend

I Feel Horrible!!

Thanks to my wonderful cousin....

I love me some quotes

My Baby Daisy Jo